Detective TLA Is On The Case

Subject: Detective TLA Is On The Case Sat Aug 02, 2014 9:04 pm

(The camera cuts to TLA sneaking around outside Affliction General Manager Nick Angel's house.)

TLA: I'm gonna catch this son of a bitch. I just know he 'round here somewhere. He's up to no good and yo boi TLA is gonna put an end to all that. Ain't nobody put nothin' past me I had him marked when I first saw him. Aww hell nawh no security system gonna keep me out.

(TLA sneaks into an open window on Nick Angel's house and looks around.)

TLA: Fuck this the bedroom right here. This is where the nasty shit with Jacob Steele goes down. Luckily Jacob Steele ain't even in Nick Angel's bed right now, they got them big ass corporate jobs 'n' shit to worry 'bout. Meanwhile TLA out here beastin' and feastin'. I'm sneakin' right through this white boi crib lookin' for that evidence.

(TLA begins opening up Nick Angel's drawers as he searches for evidence of corruption but finds only 1970s porn magazines.)

TLA: This brah into some creepy ass shit. Who the fuck actually even reads porn? I don't even know how he jerks to this. I like my women all normal and sexy and shit. This is just perverted and degenerate and the Sexual Panther don't fucks with that. There gotta be somethin' 'round here I can use. I'm gonna blackmail this motherfucker and sue this company for all it's worth. Imma be rollin' in that XMW green they gonna call me the richest motherfucker y'all ever saw. Even though XMW just started they still gotta have that stash and imma relieve them right quick.

(TLA sneaks into Nick Angel's study where a large nude portrait of him is seen above a fireplace.)

TLA: Fuck my eyes...

(TLA closes the door as he quickly runs out of the house. TLA runs into the garage where he sees chained up Asian women. TLA releases them to their freedom.)

TLA: RUN BITCHES RUN!!!

(TLA smiles happily as the bitches run off naked into the sunset. TLA's smile quickly fades however as he realizes he has not yet completed his mission.)

TLA: Nick Angel is gonna get exposed. I know he is planning something with Casey Jones and I'm gonna prove it. I will save XMW from being killed by ignorant white man's politics. I only fucks with that good clean wrestling. I don't like the dirty shit. We gotta keep it on the level cuz that's what the fans want to see. We are gonna make XMW about competition, not about screwjobs. This is serious shit here, XMW is gonna be Xtreme and TLA is takin' it to the Xtreme. Get ready Nick Angel, I'm comin' for yo ass but not cummin' for yo ass like Jacob Steele is.

(TLA gets in his lowrider and is chased by neighborhood dogs out of the suburbs.)