Promo #2.1

In my life it is hard to get depressed about losing a match, because I already won in life see after my match with..... God what was his name? Oh yeah Antonio Banderes, or something like that, after that I caught up with the 4 girls that Vic and I were with and we went back to my hotel room and, well let's just say they cheered me right up. How can you be mad about events when you are just a snap of your fingers away from a good time. That's why I don't understand why guys like Chris Brown go to jail. Nigga why are you so angry you could step outside your door at any time and grab a nice Pretty Young Thang as Michael would have said it, but no you're better off biting women and knocking out photobombers. I mean maybe that rumor about him fucking old white men in Hollywood to stay relevant and popular is true, because if I was that man I would never sleep alone.

However, there is one thing I would like to do alone and that's wrestle. Why do I get stuck teaming with Vic Vendetta the wannabe Samuel King. Nick couldn't find anyone else to partner up with this man and worst of all I have to wrestle against the drop dead Gorgeous Minerva. Some people just don't think they are capable of disrespect. I mean this girl has done it all from wrestling in the streets, GoDaddy.com commericals, playboy, adult films, everything. Personally I liked you better before the lip injections. I can see why Impact keeps her around I watched one of those porns she did and boy you got yourself a real keeper. Personally my favorite one is the lesbian scene she did in the bathtub. Girl you got gifts. I mean I've never seen a body so perfect, don't be surprised if I let you get a 2 count just to see what it would be like to have your sensual, sexy, sweaty, body laid up on top of mine. I can just see you face now trying to act like you don't notice how much bigger I am than 1..2...Pumps you got.

I bet Pumps is seething right now and I think I speak for both Vic and me when I say that the only way to beat us is well to beat us if you get what I'm saying. If you don't well then maybe Minerva isn't as good as loyal to you as you think. I wonder what was your point of coming here Impact? What purpose does it serve for you, what is your motivation? I mean can you even keep up with us new guys? You've been around so long that most people don't even remember you at the height of your potential. Impact you could look at the match in a number of ways. Either you could have the handicap or we could have the handicap, I'm not to sure about Vic, but the only part of Minerva I plan on smacking is dat ass. So you might be able to take advantage of that, because I just don't believe in hitting women. Yet the other way and more realistic way you can look at this is that you just aren't going to be able to have a moments rest because we aren't going to allow you to bring her in the match. I am going to ensure that you don't have an opportunity to put Minerva in harms way Vic is an unpredictable man and he might just be crazy to put his hands on her and we both don't want that to happen.

Now as I take my leave and depress the women all over the world as their gift from God departs I want to leave you all with one of my favorite Minerva commercials.